Long road and tricky blogging

I crashed at Bear Mountain.  Or so I’m told.  I remember the morning — getting there really early to get on the wait list, bagging a nice nap in the car.  And getting ready once given the official green light from the wait-list; with the requisite uncertainty with which any race official lets you into a race off the wait list, stemming from the irrational fear that the person who rightfully pre-reg’d in the spot you are taking will waltz in five minutes before the start and throw a fit upon learning that their spot has been given away (a lot of silly bike-racing rules make more sense when you think about them with this in mind) like an airline passenger checking in.

Long entry-short, we started the race.  There was a pretty relaxed air going on early on, maybe because many people didn’t know what to expect with the course changes.  I remember seeing the reservoir, and flipping it without incident through the crowded traffic circle.  I have no other memories from Sunday, or most of Monday for that matter.  Apparently I was unconscious for a good while after the crash.  I have no dramatic memory involving waking up in the hospital, thinking that I was still racing, or thinking anything for that matter.  Memories from Sunday through Tuesday are all the opposite of striking; they are pale, vague, and seem to have very little will of their own to continue to exist.

I don’t feel like I have been handed a challenge, although I have thought and heard a lot about stories like this and perhaps the automatic response (to continue rather than give up immediately) differentiates real drive and commitment in competitors.  One of my relatives suggested I was crazy to get back on the bike. ever.  My team director mentioned races he’d still hope I’d peak for this summer.  Both conversations seemed ridiculous in my current perspective, for opposite reasons

When all the talking is done, I have my slowly healing body, and I have time.  I know what my goals are — they haven’t changed.  Pretty simple — I want some good results for the team this summer.  I have plenty of goals that weren’t crazy or all that noteworthy before.  All the well-wishing and support has been so wonderful.  But it doesn’t feel as though anything has fundamentally changed.  I’m not going to come back and have radioactive superpowers from the row of staples holding my abdomen together.  So you heard it here first: same old Rudy, back at em!  Everyone wants to know how I’ve been doing since the crash — at the risk of blowing any chance at drama: “I’ve been about the same as before, little foggy at times (oh, and the staples are sore).”

Sorry if the blog post doesn’t have all the excitement you were hoping for.  I worry that my inelloquence with words has drained the potential from the story; but I guess that’s the nature of my position, the dramatic journey back to normalcy.  Back to the old grind; that’s the best outcome I could hope for!

Thank you all for the well wishes, and stay tuned for some exiting tales of victory!


~ by awerbuch on May 23, 2010.

One Response to “Long road and tricky blogging”

  1. “I worry that my inelloquence with words has drained the potential from the story”…Using the term “inelloquence” cancels out any possible inelloquence that may have existed. Lindsay and I are glad to hear that you’re OK and I’m happy that you plan on racing all summer. Maybe you can solicit Staples for a sponsorship (too soon!!!)

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